Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
