brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
