Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
