used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
