We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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