The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
