I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
