Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
