the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
