Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I miss vodka workout Fridays
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
