no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
