so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
