too bad you live with your parents still
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
