I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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