so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
