At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
