I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
