is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
