just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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