Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
