i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
