if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
