put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
