he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
