it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
This house was built for laser tag.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
