smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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