I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
