look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It was confusing and full of hummus
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
