She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
