sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Come on in and take your pants off
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