I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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