no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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