would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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