there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
