He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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