apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
