What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
