Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
