You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I understand Curling. That high.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
