third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize