i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
