he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
