and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
