I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Pants are for mortals
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
