i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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