Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
