i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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