the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
