Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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