OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
