This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
