I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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