Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
