Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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