When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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