It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
