my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
