I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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