so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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